Ahhh, Remembering!
Okay, so I'm in the final stretch. I'm in full-blown nesting mode. I never knew about the nesting instinct before becoming pregnant. Did you? Heck! There are a lot of things I never knew about pregnancy. Here are my top 10 pregnancy "discoveries!"
1. LOOPINESS, a.k.a. "The Duh Factor" - Who knew raging hormones would affect my ability to think like a normal adult? Instead I've become quite the airhead who forgets names, switches sounds in words (i.e. "I'd like the Wouble Dhopper"), and spaces out. The Duh Factor has even stumped my five year old daughter. I've seen her cock her eyebrows at me as if to say, "WTF?"
2. MANE ATTRACTION. During pregnancy, the estrogen hormone causes hair to remain in the growing phase and stimulate the growth of one's hair. So my hair has been thicker, fuller, and more luxurious! Sounds great, right? Well, yeah. It's great for now. But just wait until the Bun is four months or so, and my hair will begin to fall out in excessive amounts. Google has taught me that there's even a name for this symptom. It's called: Telogen Effluvium. Boy can't wait for that to happen again.
3. I HEART TUMS. Again our mischevious friend PROGESTERONE proves naughty by causing bouts of HEARTBURN. Oh joy! The feeling of having that sandwich lodged at the base of my throat has never been so fun. I get to relive my meals over. And over. And over again.
4. BOOBY PRIZE. Hey gals! Wanna have bigger boobs? GET PREGNANT. Bigger, bustier, bouncier boobs. In my case, I actually have cleavage right now. In fact it goes really well with my BIG BELLY. But in the end, after breastfeeding is over, so is the boob factor. Boo.
5. MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH(es) of scars. Okay so it's a known factor that the belly stretches to accommodate the baby, and as a result, those fun stretch marks appear. But did you know that your stomach will ITCH like crazy as it's stretching? Yep, it does. To add salt to the wounds, you'll get NEW stretch marks with each subsequent pregnancy. Yes, that's right! A new batch...in different places!
6. CHOOS NEW SHOES. Right now my feet feel like Bolillos. Fat and doughy. I think I knead a new pair of shoes. But I'll stray from the Jimmy variety. I'd rather wear flip flops all day instead of cramming these puppies into anything constricting. Okay so we all know about swollen feet and such, but ladies did you know that your feet actually "grow" during pregnancy? My feet are a half size larger. Weird, huh?
7. BLOODY MARY. It's common for women to have FIFTY PERCENT MORE BLOOD in her body during pregnancy. So what does that mean? An increase in blood is responsible for overheating, bloody noses, bleeding gums, itchy skin (shall I go on?), dizziness, leg cramps. One good thing about this increase in blood volume is that ROSY glow!! I guess, my trip to Transyvania has been postponed until further ado.
8. MAINTAIN YOUR POISE. Okay, so this is one embarrassing pregnancy side effect. It's called URINARY INCONTINENCE. Yep, that's right! I CAN'T HOLD IN MY PEE. Cough = pee. Laughter = pee. Running = pee. Bending over to tie shoe = pee. Doing the splits ** = pee. I've never daydreamed about wearing my son's leftover diapers more than ever. Actually, I broke down and purchased some POISE pads. Life has been dreamy ever since. Just kidding folks!
9. IN DUE TIME. Okay so the gestational periods of various animals may not be well known fact (an elephant's gestational period is 620 days? Sheesh!). But it is common knowledge that a human gestational period is nine months, right? Well, not really. It's actually TEN MONTHS. Forty weeks = ten months (if you assume each month to be four weeks). That puts the human race neck and neck with the dolphin's gestational period of 276 days. BRING IT ON, Flipper!
10. FROM HERE TO MATERNITY. Being pregnant for the third time with Husker has made me fall in love with him all over again. My love for him has manifested itself in the very breath and the heartbeat of our children. I see my sweet husband in the smile of my Lil'Buddy, and I see him in the beautiful eyes of my little Princess. I hear him through their voices and through their bursts of laughter.
The memory of having him by my side, holding my hand as I pushed our two babes into this world was a gush of happiness so deep and so magical. It's a feeling that I'll never forget. It's the image of him cradling Princess in his arms, kissing her gently on her pink forehead before passing her to me for the first time. It's the memory of him smiling through tears as Lil'Buddy came wailing into this world. It's a blessing that I get to relive all of this happiness one more time.
** You silly, I can't do the splits.
1. LOOPINESS, a.k.a. "The Duh Factor" - Who knew raging hormones would affect my ability to think like a normal adult? Instead I've become quite the airhead who forgets names, switches sounds in words (i.e. "I'd like the Wouble Dhopper"), and spaces out. The Duh Factor has even stumped my five year old daughter. I've seen her cock her eyebrows at me as if to say, "WTF?"
2. MANE ATTRACTION. During pregnancy, the estrogen hormone causes hair to remain in the growing phase and stimulate the growth of one's hair. So my hair has been thicker, fuller, and more luxurious! Sounds great, right? Well, yeah. It's great for now. But just wait until the Bun is four months or so, and my hair will begin to fall out in excessive amounts. Google has taught me that there's even a name for this symptom. It's called: Telogen Effluvium. Boy can't wait for that to happen again.
3. I HEART TUMS. Again our mischevious friend PROGESTERONE proves naughty by causing bouts of HEARTBURN. Oh joy! The feeling of having that sandwich lodged at the base of my throat has never been so fun. I get to relive my meals over. And over. And over again.
4. BOOBY PRIZE. Hey gals! Wanna have bigger boobs? GET PREGNANT. Bigger, bustier, bouncier boobs. In my case, I actually have cleavage right now. In fact it goes really well with my BIG BELLY. But in the end, after breastfeeding is over, so is the boob factor. Boo.
5. MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH(es) of scars. Okay so it's a known factor that the belly stretches to accommodate the baby, and as a result, those fun stretch marks appear. But did you know that your stomach will ITCH like crazy as it's stretching? Yep, it does. To add salt to the wounds, you'll get NEW stretch marks with each subsequent pregnancy. Yes, that's right! A new batch...in different places!
6. CHOOS NEW SHOES. Right now my feet feel like Bolillos. Fat and doughy. I think I knead a new pair of shoes. But I'll stray from the Jimmy variety. I'd rather wear flip flops all day instead of cramming these puppies into anything constricting. Okay so we all know about swollen feet and such, but ladies did you know that your feet actually "grow" during pregnancy? My feet are a half size larger. Weird, huh?
7. BLOODY MARY. It's common for women to have FIFTY PERCENT MORE BLOOD in her body during pregnancy. So what does that mean? An increase in blood is responsible for overheating, bloody noses, bleeding gums, itchy skin (shall I go on?), dizziness, leg cramps. One good thing about this increase in blood volume is that ROSY glow!! I guess, my trip to Transyvania has been postponed until further ado.
8. MAINTAIN YOUR POISE. Okay, so this is one embarrassing pregnancy side effect. It's called URINARY INCONTINENCE. Yep, that's right! I CAN'T HOLD IN MY PEE. Cough = pee. Laughter = pee. Running = pee. Bending over to tie shoe = pee. Doing the splits ** = pee. I've never daydreamed about wearing my son's leftover diapers more than ever. Actually, I broke down and purchased some POISE pads. Life has been dreamy ever since. Just kidding folks!
9. IN DUE TIME. Okay so the gestational periods of various animals may not be well known fact (an elephant's gestational period is 620 days? Sheesh!). But it is common knowledge that a human gestational period is nine months, right? Well, not really. It's actually TEN MONTHS. Forty weeks = ten months (if you assume each month to be four weeks). That puts the human race neck and neck with the dolphin's gestational period of 276 days. BRING IT ON, Flipper!
10. FROM HERE TO MATERNITY. Being pregnant for the third time with Husker has made me fall in love with him all over again. My love for him has manifested itself in the very breath and the heartbeat of our children. I see my sweet husband in the smile of my Lil'Buddy, and I see him in the beautiful eyes of my little Princess. I hear him through their voices and through their bursts of laughter.
The memory of having him by my side, holding my hand as I pushed our two babes into this world was a gush of happiness so deep and so magical. It's a feeling that I'll never forget. It's the image of him cradling Princess in his arms, kissing her gently on her pink forehead before passing her to me for the first time. It's the memory of him smiling through tears as Lil'Buddy came wailing into this world. It's a blessing that I get to relive all of this happiness one more time.
** You silly, I can't do the splits.
posted by Mary at 12:55 AM
8 Comments:
Girl, I think you tried the splits tonight. ;)
Thanks for all the pregnancy reminders!! Thanks for being so excited for me, it is helping me to get excited. I needed that push to post!! (no pun intended) :)
LMAO That is so cute!! I was laughing so hard!
Yep your in nesting mode alright!
And, The one thing I did not know until I got pg with Sonderful was the whole 10 month thing, I was really surprised you don't really know that till you get pg..LOL
LOL! That was too funny! And my feet are still bigger! They swelled up and got fatter during the pregnancy, but I've actually gone up a shoe size...and stayed there. My feet were a 6.5-7 regular, now they're a 7 1/2 and I'd prefer wides if I can find them. Crazy!!!
LOl . . Oh, gosh that was funny until I got to number 10. talk about making me cry! :) You know, that would be a great scrapbook page for you to work on before the baby gets here! the cost of pregnancy, but the new baby is PRICELESS! Anyhow . . . you know me, always thinking! lol
Aww ScrappinMom, didn't want anyone to get all mushed up! You and that brain, it WOULD be a great little book. Hmm, I smell a new project coming on!!
LMAO that had me rolling. When I first got pregnant I was like cool I'll have boobies now Not...lol I like #10 it reminded me how Boater was when Little Guy came into the world I will never forget it.
Rachelle... obviously it is a boy thing! He's obsessed with anything like that!
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