I did it!!!
Oh my...I did it! I finally did it. I have spent the last few days toying with this email that I drafted to send out to the playgroup and I finally sent it.
It's so hard to be in my position. I have made some really wonderful and very dear friends and it's so damn hard to differentiate the line of "Leader" and "Friend" at times. I know the email will hurt some's feelings. I know it'll make some upset. The very thought of that really makes my heart ache. Even when I finally hit 'send' I threw my hands over my eyes as to try and 'take it away'... but I know it had to be done.
I am a born leader...I always have been, I feel it in my body, my mind, my soul. But sometimes it's so damn hard. I do have a sensitive side, I do get emotional at times so I worry about who've feelings I've hurt or who's going to join the "hate club". Then I look at all of the wonderful women who've supported the group, each other and me through all of this and it makes it all worth it.
Please cross your fingers and hope that my email will only make this group stronger and more aware and not so blase as many have been lately.
On another note...
I'm feeling much better today. I've realized that if I've made someone mad at me then that's that. I can only change it or make things better if I know first-hand of anything I may have done to hurt a friend and that means I have to be confronted. It has to be discussed...until then, there's nothing I can do. I have to stop worrying about it and take care of myself and my family and the things I have to run on a daily basis. I love and appreciate all of my friends, at times I may not show it, but I do.
It's so hard to be in my position. I have made some really wonderful and very dear friends and it's so damn hard to differentiate the line of "Leader" and "Friend" at times. I know the email will hurt some's feelings. I know it'll make some upset. The very thought of that really makes my heart ache. Even when I finally hit 'send' I threw my hands over my eyes as to try and 'take it away'... but I know it had to be done.
I am a born leader...I always have been, I feel it in my body, my mind, my soul. But sometimes it's so damn hard. I do have a sensitive side, I do get emotional at times so I worry about who've feelings I've hurt or who's going to join the "hate club". Then I look at all of the wonderful women who've supported the group, each other and me through all of this and it makes it all worth it.
Please cross your fingers and hope that my email will only make this group stronger and more aware and not so blase as many have been lately.
On another note...
I'm feeling much better today. I've realized that if I've made someone mad at me then that's that. I can only change it or make things better if I know first-hand of anything I may have done to hurt a friend and that means I have to be confronted. It has to be discussed...until then, there's nothing I can do. I have to stop worrying about it and take care of myself and my family and the things I have to run on a daily basis. I love and appreciate all of my friends, at times I may not show it, but I do.
posted by Mary at 3:01 PM
2 Comments:
Fingers crossed! You're a great leader, Java Mama! Thank you!
You guys... you have no idea how much that means to me. Making friends, not just any friends but the friendships I've made w/ you all was such a risk for me in the beginning because you don't want to cross that line and be unappreciative of anything anyone offers or volunteers to do for you.
Jenn/Blue... thanks for being my sounding board when it came to the email. You were both honest and told me it was pretty damn harsh, I was glad I sat on it and thought things thru a little more.
Thumb... it's not just me, it's you too. The ability to truly understand someone else is a gift, because we're all so different. Thanks for being you, and understanding!
Purple...You've always been there for me as I have always tried to be there for you. Thank you for offering your shoulder and your ear, that meant a lot :)
Flower... Girlie, I have no idea what I have done and I'm serious about that. I'm offering my apologies. Never let anything fester up inside of you, if you ever feel anything change in our friendship come to me and we'll talk about it and work it out right then! Glad you made it home safe.
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